If I can take a moment, to be honest, I haven’t been very honest lately. My emotions have been going haywire, my mind has been unstable, and I have self-sabotaged for fear of dealing with things about me I’ve always swept under the rug of avoidance. As life would have it, all of these occurrences have brought me face to face with myself, and I now see that what I once thought was ugly was only a portion of the [complete] beautiful workmanship I truly am. It has truly been a journey, and from time to time I still struggle with affirming myself, but I’m dedicated to embracing all of who I am [the good, the bad, the ugly], living in my truth and freedom, and following the path that God has established for my life. The journey hasn’t been easy, but it has taught me a few things:
1. God’s love will always supersede the love of man.
Throughout this journey there were days I felt that I couldn’t face; He would always send someone to say or do something that gave me that boost of encouragement I needed to get through this seemingly unbearable process. Every day as I greet the beauty of this world, I am reminded that death produces life and the dead things in my life had to be dealt with because they were pertinent to my life.
2. Talking about my struggles is OK.
A lot of times I suffer in silence because I believe sharing my weaknesses, failures, or ugliness with others, voluntarily gives them the opportunity to judge or use them against me [it’s happened too many times before]. Having a struggle only means that I’m human and while I love to be “on top,” the lessons at the “bottom” are just as valuable. If a person chooses to acknowledge only the negative things they know about me, then I would encourage them to continue on their personal journey of healing. While I won’t go around broadcasting my business, I have learned with whom I can healthily exchange my problems for wisdom.
3. I have to embrace the truth.
The truth hurts. While I have learned to accept the truth about myself, I have also learned that the portion of someone’s truth for me is not to the totality of my truth for myself and I have to continue to speak and be true to all parts of myself not just my failing self.
4. Only I possess the tools to repair what needs to be fixed within myself.
What works for another person may not necessarily work for me. It’s up to me to find my healthy avenues of detoxing. Then, I can be balanced and tuned into the right energy to show others who are in this same struggle a view of freedom.
Wherever you are in your journey, I hope this blog encourages you and gives you the motivation to get through to the other side because it’s beautiful there; I promise!