In the last post we talked about a few realizations I was able to come to. If I can be honest again, I didn’t learn these things overnight and I didn’t learn these things the first time they were told to me. [Some people learn through verbal teaching, and some people learn through experiences; I am the experimental learner.] Failures and shortcomings have been the hardest experiences, but they have produced an abundance of knowledge in my life. One thing that I came to realize during this journey is that I have not been emotionally well in a very long time. Most people who are emotionally unwell will either pour themselves into their business or into a substance that temporarily numbs the pain. For me, it was a mixture of both – more so the business because it was doing fairly well at the time. But when the business started failing, I gravitated more towards the substance and went into this downward spiral. It was an incredibly dark place in my life, and only I could make a choice to walk in the light again. Others can want it so badly for you, but until you make the decision for yourself, nothing will happen on your behalf.
I embraced a few methods to help me reach the light again:
I started sessions with a therapist.
I realized that my issues were deeper than what the people close to me were able to handle. Moreover, the advice they give to me is only based on the experiences of where they’ve already been in this life; not where I’m going. I had to get to the place where I stopped trying to deal with my issues through the eyes of everyone else, and I learned how to truly identify my issues and efficient ways to deal with them. One thing that I learned while in therapy is that mental and emotional health are two crucial elements of your being that you have to make sure stay intact, especially if you are in the business of always servicing people. This goes for entertainers, therapists, teachers and the like.
I started meditating.
Meditation helped push out much of the negative energy and aided in more positive thinking. It contributed to calming my fear and shame of things I have failed at in addition to helping to refocus my thoughts and my intentions. Meditation helped change my response to the world and things that were happening because I had confidence that as long as I believed the best and showed love, then the universe was obligated to honor that.
I started doing activities where I was not the “mom” or “artist”.
This is still a work in progress. As an entrepreneur and single mother, there is rarely any time to just be a “person” because you are always busy filling a role; leaving little to no time for yourself. I practice this daily and the more that I do it, the better I feel about fulfilling other roles in life.
“When reality is more surreal than real And every corner of every room seems to find your back you are in the perfect place to choose Whether this moment will make or break you. Healing is calling. How will you respond?”
Wherever you are in your journey, I hope this blog encourages you and gives you the motivation to get through to the other side because it’s beautiful there; I promise!